The actual truth. The nitty-gritty.

I write these for myself, and for anybody studying production or wanting to get into it, so they know what to really expect.

Not the cookie-cutter, influencer, hustle-culture version. The actual fucking truth. The nitty-gritty. The kind that makes you either want to pray in your car or cry in your car, depending on how you roll.

Most shoots are a good cruise. It’s the bigger ones that come in a mess, because everyone seems to be doing it for the first time. Nervous to come off as assholes. Low self-esteem. No confidence.

These are the stories that shaped why I turn down so many of the jobs that come my way. I rattle my brain on them between the scenes, between the frames, in the time after the shoot.

Why there’s no name on this

I still work in this industry. If people knew who wrote these, they might never hire me, scared of the review I’d write about their set.

Not much of what I’ve done came with an NDA. That isn’t the point. Like any journalist, I protect my sources. Names, companies and places stay out.

If you read one of these and think, my God, I’m glad somebody’s finally writing the real bullshit, it’s for you.

From the essays